Do you believe there's such a thing as a soulmate?

Thursday, November 11, 2010

A Portrait of the Asshole as a Young Man 25

I suppose an alternative title would've satisfied: "While the Gettin' is Good," maybe.  Anyway...

With my high school reunion approaching, I spoke with my boys about the relevance of such an event in the age of Facebook (I mean, I've already "caught up" with most of the folks I cared about).

"You go back," one of them said, "so you can see if any of the chicks that you wanted to get at are still as fine."  They're probably not.  "Maybe you could finish what you started."  I probably won't.

But then we got to talking to about how the "shine" you get off a piece of new pussy is only as bright as the lady herself.  That is, I want to be under a woman when she's in her prime.  If I get to bag "Denise" now that she's all grown up (and twenty pounds heavier), I'll still feel inferior to the dudes who got to smash when "Denise" had a tight body (that knew nothing about childbearing) and a target on her back every time she entered the club ('cause bitches be hatin', y'know).

Women are like milk (to men), and we all want to get our drink on prior to the "use by _____" deadline.  After that, you're only getting a fraction of what another man once enjoyed wholly.  I might as well be fucking the ghost of the woman you used to be!

Who am I to judge?  No one, particularly.  But I do know that look the best that I ever have, at twenty-seven; meanwhile, many of the women I came up with are going to shit -- yet still expecting the princess treatment. (LOL I just laughed a little... inside.)

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