Do you believe there's such a thing as a soulmate?

Sunday, October 31, 2010

(Answers to) Fall '10 Survey #3

If you could choose a mate based on only one criteria, what would it be? 
Who uses only one when choosing a mate?
What's something spontaneous that a romantic interest could do to surprise you? 
Show up where I work just to say hi.
What's the meanest thing a member of the opposite sex has ever said to you?
You were just a distraction, never really had feelings for you.
What places do you go to, to look for a mate?
Bars/clubs for sex, a mate will be found when the time is right in the universe.
Underwear or "commando"?
Underwear definitely! It's sexier too!
What's the lamest way you've ever been dumped (or have dumped someone)?
Never seen or heard from again. When it's over, be an adult and have the balls to say so.
Favorite "bedroom boom" song?
Use Somebody, the lead singers voice turns me on
Knowing that over half of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, would you still want to get married? If so, why?
Ask for directions or keep looking on your own?
Keep going solo, too many detours when asked for directions.
What do you believe motivates a man in terms of interaction with the opposite sex? What about a woman?
Man: sex, would I sleep with her. Women: stability, would I raise a family with him

Saturday, October 30, 2010

A Portrait of the Asshole as a Young Man 24

The author (right) as actor; LMG forever!

For this, New Shoes's 300th post, I thought I'd take some time out as the author to let you know what I've been up to.  Surely you've noticed that my original posts have been replaced with more generic -- albeit helpful -- re-posts of online dating articles and entries from other blogs (thanks, Jehn!).

As some of you may know, New Shoes is just a part of the business (production company) I co-own and co-operate, Leviathan Media Group.  2010 has been a busy year for us, and it's only gotten busier as winter approaches.  That said, more pressing duties require that I re-allocate the time I'd normally spend on thinking up and fleshing out topics.

There simply aren't enough hours in the day!  But no excuses.

I know that many of you would rather hear a fresh voice (like yours truly), but do know that I only re-post articles and blog entries I feel will do just as much if not more justice to you women (and men [LOL]).  At the end of the day you want to know how men really think, and I think I've done a good enough job thus far filling you in.  That said, I know I've been remiss in giving you the "asshole" that forms the whirlpool center of this peculiar blog.

I feel it's important to state, in the interest of full disclosure, that I am dedicated to posting every day until the one-year anniversary of the New Shoes blog; fittingly enough, it's Valentines Day 2011.  After that, posts will become more sporadic as I begin combing through the myriad entries, separating the cream from the dregs until I've got what I need to write "New Shoes: The Book."

That's right.  A book is coming!

So hang with me -- that is to say, hang tough.  Tell your family, friends and co-workers to visit this blog and tell them I'm open to any suggestions that would make it more interactive for you all.  After all, one man is not New Shoes.  I get it from you guys; you give this blog life, and I thank you.

I thank you.

Friday, October 29, 2010

How NOT to Fall in Love With a Loser

Thursday, October 28, 2010

(Answers to) Fall '10 Survey #2

If you could choose a mate based on only one criteria, what would it be? *
i want to say honesty but my gut reaction was if they are good in bed
What's something spontaneous that a romantic interest could do to surprise you? *
What's the meanest thing a member of the opposite sex has ever said to you? *
What places do you go to, to look for a mate? *
i don't look...if i happen upon someone so be it...
Underwear or "commando"? *
What's the lamest way you've ever been dumped (or have dumped someone)? *
through someone else
Favorite "bedroom boom" song? *
slowly by syleena johnson
Knowing that over half of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, would you still want to get married? If so, why? *
not sure at this point...probably not
Ask for directions or keep looking on your own? *
What do you believe motivates a man in terms of interaction with the opposite sex? What about a woman? *
men-pussy women-love

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Sexual Peak

(The following is a re-print of a post on the blog My Life As A Serial Dater.)

There is much debate over whether or not a sexual prime exists in men and women.  I decided to google it, for obvious reasons.  I masturbate every day.  I have always loved sex, but I am currently at my most lustful.  I turned 30 a month ago, so naturally I have been writing this increased hunger off to a sexual prime.

I have always thought there was some hormonal increase that happens to women in her 30s.  You get an increase of hormones and an increase in libido.  Turns out, this isn't so.  I have no more hormones now than I did at 18.  I have always had a little additional testosterone floating around my system, but there isn't some burst of hormones that hits in ones 30s or 40s.  Women and men both get the biggest hormone burst around 18.

So, why am I regularly skipping dinner to stay in and have "me" time?  Something has happened.  I wasn't always like this.  As I've said, I have always loved sex.  I lost my virginity at 17 and had my first orgasm soon thereafter.  Barring times of debilitating illness or lack of privacy/opportunity, I have not gone more than a few days without cumming, since.

However, now I masturbate almost every day, sometimes, more than once a day.  If I had a steady partner, I would be requesting sex at least twice a day.  When I had a boyfriend, if we had sex 3 times a day, I was happy and satisfied.  It's unbelievable.  My urges are amazing even me.  I have even considered the fact that I might be addicted to sex.  I signed up for the Sex Addicts Anonymous cyber meetings.  Turns out, I don't really fit the bill.  Aside from skipping the occasional meal, I don't really let anything else go by the wayside.  I am still selective about with whom and where I have sex.  I do, however, consider a private or semi private restroom to be an appropriate place.  I don't think about sex all day, but I am easily turned on.  I have been talking to a new guy for a few days and the wit, banter and hints to sex have me shifting in my seat quite regularly.

If I'm not in a sexual prime, then I can only write this increase off to an increase in confidence.  I remember that when I was young, I was ashamed to masturbate.  I thought my sexual urges made me gross or strange.  After I got older and more open, I found out all of my female friends that were willing to talk about it were rubbin' one out, at least once a week.

In my mid twenties, a partner asked if he could watch me pleasure myself and I realized that masturbation was not only normal, but it was sexy.  I know it sounds strange.  Of course it's sexy.  But, when you are irrationally ashamed of something, it's hard to see it for what it is.  These new realizations made masturbation even more enjoyable.  The more I masturbated, the more I realized what I liked.  The more I realized what I liked, the easier it was to orgasm with a partner.   My acceptance of masturbation led to better sex with my partners.

So, higher confidence led to freedom in exploring myself, which led to better sex with my partners, which led to better fantasies for more masturbation and it just spiraled from there.  I think this is what a healthy attitude toward sex looks like.  Yet, I still find myself questioning how I could love sex so much. Deep in the back of mine, I am still fighting the idea that sex is something men love and something women are willing to do to satisfy a man.  A part of me thinks I am odd for loving sex so much.  But, I am starting to realize that I am just a normal woman with lust.  I might have a bigger appetite than some and my appetite might be smaller than that of other women, but it's not strange in any way.

It is what it is.  I love sex.  I don't do it looking for love or with any hidden motives.  I believe it is an act of love. Not just love shared with other people, but a love for me, as well.  I encourage women to safely explore their urges.  You don't have to wait for some fictional sexual peak when your lust becomes acceptable.  It's acceptable now.  Embrace it.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

"Is He Just Keeping Me Around Till He Finds a Better Woman?"

If you are not sure about the man you are dating, then there is something wrong and you have to get to the bottom of it to enjoy a full and lasting relationship. Look for these signs that will tell you if he is serious or just fooling around with you.

Is he sincere and loving
No man who is not sincere and serious about you will be loving, tender and compassionate at all times. He will fool around with your emotions and will show inconsistent and selfish behavior at some point of the relationship. Test him and see if he is always there for you.

Is he always on the look out for someone better?
One sign a philandering man will give is the fact that he is always on the look out to make a "kill". He will continually check out other women and ogle them. This shows you that he is just there with you for the present till he can find a better woman. Beware of his tactics to take advantage of you.

Is he always complaining and criticizing?
Think back and decide if he has been encouraging and complimenting or the complaining and criticizing type! Is he always saying cutting things that wound your self esteem and pride? If he is not considerate and sensitive to your moods it proves that he is there only because of what he gets!

Does he give me enough time?
Are you always the one who has to make the sacrifices? Does he give you enough time or do you always have to give way to his friends? This is important and the more he proves that he does not value you or give you priority over others in his life, it shows that he is just fooling around till someone better comes along!

Is he the only one taking while you do all the giving?
Check back and see if you have been the one to keep giving. A good relationship is both give and take, and as long as there is sharing between you, you have hope. If he refuses to be selfless and insists on you satisfying his needs while he does nothing to satisfy you, it shows that he is not serious about you.

Is the grass always greener on the other side?
What type of character does he have? Has he always been the type of guy who is never satisfied with what he has? Does the grass on the other side of the fence always seem greener for him? If yes, then you can be sure that he will leave you the moment he sees another woman who seems better!

Does your needs and wellbeing matter to him?
Only a guy who is bothered about your well being is really interested in you. If he is cold, careless, selfish and inconsiderate where you and your needs are concerned, no one need tell you that he is just fooling with you as long as he is getting something out of the relationship. He will not stick to you in times of trouble and will leave the moment he finds someone better!

Monday, October 25, 2010

(Answers to) Fall '10 Survey

If you could choose a mate based on only one criteria, what would it be? *
no such thing as one, people are too complex for one criterion, but I guess compatibility would cover a lot of them in one words
What's something spontaneous that a romantic interest could do to surprise you? *
Go to the lake for a picnic
What's the meanest thing a member of the opposite sex has ever said to you? *
"You don't love me."
What places do you go to, to look for a mate? *
Nowhere specifically to look, but open to finding at any locale
Underwear or "commando"? *
definitely underwear,
What's the lamest way you've ever been dumped (or have dumped someone)? *
just stopped talking to them
Favorite "bedroom boom" song? *
I would imagine it to be Boyz II Men- Uhh Ahh
Knowing that over half of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, would you still want to get married? If so, why? *
Yes, It's like a T/F question on a test....sure there's a 50% chance I get it wrong, but if iI don't answer at all I'll definitely get it wrong.
Ask for directions or keep looking on your own? *
use gps
What do you believe motivates a man in terms of interaction with the opposite sex? What about a woman? *
sex and comfort; love and safety

Saturday, October 23, 2010

He's REALLY Not That Into You...

(The following is a re-print of an article on

Are you afraid he's really not that into you? Is the guy you desire distant and less than loving? Do you wonder if you should take your affections elsewhere? Sometimes individuals are just not compatible. It could be time to stop worrying, and move forward with a more positive relationship.

Signs He's Really Not That Into You

If you think he's really not that into you, then you're probably right. It might be hard to read subtle signals that show people really are interested, but when they start giving off signs that they would rather be somewhere else, it's not that hard to tell.
  • Easily Distracted - If you notice every time you're talking to a guy he shifts around, looks at everything but you, and tries to escape, then chances are good he's really not that into you. Although guys in general can be distracted, a guy who cares what you've got to say is at least going to make an attempt to pay attention.
  • He Doesn't Make an Effort -If you're the one doing all the work to try to build a relationship, and he just sits back and acts like it's no big deal, then maybe it's time to find someone who will appreciate you for all you've got to offer.
  • He Doesn't Include You -If you think you've got the beginnings of a relationship, but you don't feel included by the guy, then chances are good he's really not that into you. A guy who wants to be around you will go to great lengths to introduce you to his friends and family, share details of his day with you, and bring you into different situations that will help the two of you build a working relationship. If you feel left out, pick up and move.
  • Missing Connections -If you're the one making all the phone calls, sending all the texts, and making the arrangements for every little thing, then it could be that they guy you like is just plain lazy...or, maybe he's really not that into you. If it seems like you get his voicemail every time you call, and he conveniently forgets to call you back, then take a hint. If he's the lazy kind, you could probably do better, anyway.
  • He's Unavailable - If a guy comes up with a million excuses why he can't spend time with you, and it seems to happen all the time, then you're probably right. He's not interested, or he would be making an effort to make up for lost time.
Getting Over It

If you've tried every trick in the book and the guy you want to be with clearly does not want to be with you, forget about it. Cut your losses, and move on before you invest more precious time and effort into a relationship that's clearly not worth the energy it takes to dial the phone.

The truth is, there are plenty of great men out there, who are looking for a relationship with someone just like you. So, leave mister what's his name behind, and look for someone who's worth your while.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Take the Fall '10 Survey!!!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Strip Club With His Boys, or a Date With You?

He who can have both is a rich man indeed.

To me this is a no-brainer, but since the author can't speak for all... let's do a Pepsi challenge, shall we?


Strip club - I can talk as loud and as rudely as I please; I can wear whatever I want (per the dress code)

Date - I have to make sure I don't do anything to embarrass you, as we're probably in some expensive (for a recession) restaurant; I had to run out and buy a new shirt after work just to look good for you (you're welcome); I'm petrified that anything I say or do could lead to a "get the pussy FAIL"

     The Edge: Strip club

Full disclosure:

Strip club - 1) I'll already know what she's working with (because she's naked) and 2) I won't have to guess what she wants (hint: it's in my wallet)

Date - I'll have to engage in long conversations on any number of topics (not that I can't but, it's the end of the goddamn day); no matter how cool you are, I won't be to speak plainly and honestly about any topic (unless that topic is how good you look in that dress)

      The Edge: Strip club


Strip club - The free buffet near the door threatens to complete Moctezuma's Revenge

Date - Fine cuisine, of which my share is an appetizer

     The Edge: Date


Strip club - Nowhere else -- except a street corner or a porn set -- is a woman more akin to a pigeon.  From far away these birds are almost cute; up close they look like they've seen every battle since the fall of Baghdad

Date - You took your mother's advice ... and wore Spanx under that hot little number

     The Edge: Date

In the interest of fairness I'll leave it at a tie, but I'm interested to know what you all think.  What are the pros and cons of a date versus a night at the strip club (for a man)?  You can hit my Facebook inbox (Adam Scott Thompson) or email me at

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Five Men You Should Avoid Dating

(The following is a re-print of an article from

The Mamma's Boy 
This guy probably lives with his mother, if not close enough for her to pop in for tea (every night). She will have helped him pick out his decor and there will be photos of her all over his apartment. He goes for Sunday dinner and has several cartons of homemade meals in the refrigerator that mom made for him. 
Why you should stay away: You will never live up to his mother and although he will love and cherish you forever he will take his mother's side every time.

How to get rid of him: Tell him you don't like his mother.

The Body Builder
This guy will have photos of himself on every available space, along with his own home gym (even though he has a life time membership at the swanky one in town). He has all the latest gadgets and home entertainment systems.

Why you should stay away: You will never see him as he is always down at the gym. He will spend more time in the bathroom then you. He collects trophies and likes one hanging off his arm.

How to get rid of him: Tell him to give up the gym for you.

The Womanizer 
This guy will treat you like a princess and is the perfect lover. He dresses well and is out to impress and impress he will (every woman he comes in contact with). He will, of course, have trouble remembering your name, with all the women he has on the go.

Why You should stay away: His excuses for not showing up are getting more pathetic. You will have to compete with his phone as he has so many calls to return and text messages to answer. 

How to get rid of him: Tell him, "I use to be a man."

The Workaholic 
This man is going places, but will he be taking you with him? He is smartly dressed, has great taste in decor and eats at the finest restaurants. However, his work will always come first. 

Why you should stay away: You have to make an appointment to see him. He will take you to elegant dinner parties then leave you with strangers while he talks shop. 

How to get rid of him: Tell him, "I’m taking a year off to travel. Do you want to come?"

Your College Lecturer
He is probably older than you, more worldly and gets you a good grade.

Why you should stay away: If anyone found out about you, they would say you slept your way to better grades. Plus, he would lose his job and possibly his teaching position. 

How to get rid of him: Tell him somebody is blackmailing you and if you don’t stop seeing him, they are going to report you.

Of course, there are exceptions. For example, if "the body builder" knows how to give you the same type of attention he gives his body then this could potentially be a good thing (as long as you can handle other women trying to pick up on him). And if you are a workaholic that has no plans of changing then being in a relationship with another workaholic will allow the two of you to focus more on your careers while hopefully having some focus left for each other. If "mamma's boy" mom loves you and you can get the same focus from the man as his mom gives then just maybe... it's a stretch. Remember, it's doubtful any of these men will change so it's best not to try and change them.

A good approach to take in wanting out of one of these relationships is to be honest. This may gain more respect. Tell "mamma's boy" that he's too focused on his mom. Tell the womanizer that you only have room in your life for a man that only has room for you. It's doubtful that they'll change, but at least they'll know the real reason you don't want to pursue a relationship.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

10 Things Never to Say to a Guy

Monday, October 18, 2010

The Cut

(The following is a re-print of an article from the blog My Life As A Serial Dater.)

Summer 2010 is over.  The summer was a blast.  You guys know.  You were there for the whole ride.  Now the cloud of excitement has settled, there is a little bit of a mess.  After spending 10 days in Houston, a lot of things have become blindingly clear.

First of all, if I don't make some quick moves with Lewis, we are going to get trapped. This is the first time I have had a totally healthy relationship.  He's a friend, the sex was great, but it's time to take the sex out of the picture and just be friends.  We are too valuable to each other.  So, recently, I asked if we could make the transition and work on just being friends.  I think it's time.  Even though we were clear all along, there was still the occasionally ambiguity in my mind and heart.  I am scared of losing him due to hurt feelings or confusion.  He was find with it and I think this will go down in history as the most adult thing I have ever done.  

Secondly, I have been feeling lately that there are certain people in my life that take a lot more than they give.  I have stated earlier that I am not here for the amusement of men.  I need something in return.  I am not stepping out here and changing my ways, just so I can be at the beck and call of 20 men instead of just one.  If it's not 50/50, it's not going down.  So, all the men that want pics texted to them and want to chat with me when it's convenient, but never deliver on any face to face or real interaction, you gotta go.  Funny thing is, this started out with The Newest Favorite and he is not going anywhere.   I love talking to him.  Since my original post on this subject, he has managed to keep me highly entertained.  He definitely delivers.  We aren't sleeping together or anything like that, but who knows what the future holds.  But all these other yahoos are going to have to fall by the wayside.  They probably won't even notice.

Sean is holding tight.  He's far away and we don't see each other.  We just text, but he's an old friend and I can't forget that we have more than one night of sex and a few (hundred) text messages.  We have a real friendship and a history.  I am sure he and I will never hook up, but I hope we see each other again one day.  Who knows?...

The Beautiful One is in love.  I don't date or sleep with the taken ones.  He's taken and even if he fell in love while we were talking and after we first slept together, I still recognize it for what it is.  So, I am stepping back from him.  It was short lived and lovely.  I developed feelings for him and he warned that he didn't want to hurt me.  It was memorable, but now it's done.  

There is a guy here that I spent a night with.  We didn't have sex, but we made out and snuggled then we slept side by side.  It was nice.  He was funny and witty.  He made references to us having a second date or spending more time together.  I liked him.  Then, it just turned into this confusing cat and mouse game.  I don't like playing cat.  I would text him and he wouldn't respond for days.  Then out of the blue, he would call and we would talk for a while.  Then we would do the whole thing over again.  I invited him back out a few times and he was always busy.  The last time we talked, he mentioned coming out and said he was debating.  I let him go because I had to pee and he said he was going to call me back.  I didn't hear back.  So, I texted him that I was not up for being toyed with.  I am easy going and I like to be honest.  It just felt like some sort of game.  But, now it's a one player game, because I am not in the mood to play.  I liked him and he knew it, but I never knew if he liked me.  That shouldn't really ever be the case.  That was a plus from The Beautiful One, he was honest.  He liked me, but he didn't have feelings for me.  Fair enough.  This new guy here in New England won't get a name or a title at all.  Easy come, easy go.  

So, interestingly enough, that leaves Todd.  We spent time together while I was in Houston and it was nice.  He seems genuine.  I might be way off and let's face it, I'm not in a place to trust or be in a relationship.  As I typed, "He seems genuine," I got scared.  I felt vulnerable.  I think that says it all.  I am not in a place to settle in with just one man, but I'm also not in a place to entertain 20.  So, I'll just let it be what it is.  Todd is someone that I have feelings for.  I have fun with him and I like to hold his hand.  That scares me, but I will just tread slowly and see what happens.  I will also see where it goes with the others that made the cut.  But, I am going to make sure that I keep my energy where it should be, where I wanted it when I started this blog and made my decision to date, on me.  I am going to continue to be as productive as possible and make sure that everyone in my life, male or female, romance or friend, is adding to my life in a positive way.  If not, they gotta go.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

How to Stay Safe on a First Date

(The following is a re-post of an article on

Use these dating safety tips and advice before and during your date:

Preparing For Your Date 

Whether you meet your date in the grocery store or got to know each other via chat, online ads and other online ways to communicate, it’s important to prepare for the date with safety in mind. While security and protection might be the last thing on your mind as you are excited for the date, it’s important to protect yourself from a possible scam artist or bona fide jerk. Before the date, do a quick online investigation to be sure your date isn’t wanted for a crime or to ensure no other unknown bad news is posted online about him. If you find anything disturbing, simply cancel the date.

Security Items

While it may seem ridiculous to you, stashing a can of pepper spray (or even a pepper spray disguised as a discreet lipstick) or other security item in your purse before the date might be a great idea. You never know what type of person you’ll be meeting and being prepared can make a difference if things go sour.

Meeting Your Date

It’s a great idea for you not to disclose where you live to a date, especially until you get to know him better. While your father would likely die knowing a date didn’t pick you up at your house, it’s safer for you to maintain your privacy and meet in public. So, for the first few dates (at least) be sure to plan public meetings and be sure your date doesn’t follow you home afterward.

Affectionate Dates

If you happen to be on a date with an affectionate man who is moving way too quickly for you, be sure to take note. If your date’s advances make you feel uncomfortable, you should firmly tell your date their behavior is bothersome. If you feel in danger, be sure to call the authorities or a friend to meet you immediately at the place of your date and refuse to go on another date with this person in the future. It’s always a good idea to pre-arrange for a friend to call during the date to ensure you’re safe. Coming up with a keyword phrase is a good way for you to let your friend know you’re ok or not ok while chatting on the phone. While it may seem rude to use your phone during the date, it’s a good idea for a first date for you to have someone check in with you. Also, remember your gut instincts are usually right about people, so follow them!

While these dating security tips might seem a little overboard, the truth is there are many men out there willing to take advantage of single women. This is especially true if they know the female hasn’t been out into the dating world for long. So, keep yourself safe and protected by being prepared in advance and while on your date!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

3 Ways to Manage Rejection So You Can Move On

(The following is a re-post of an article on

Rejection sucks. There’s no other way to say it. When he doesn’t show interest, doesn’t show up, or breaks it off after a relationship develops; it’s ugly and icky. No doubt about it.

Thing is: rejection doesn’t have to strike a mortal blow.

I know so many women who avoid connecting with men – by choice or unconsciously – because they don’t want to experience rejection. If you don’t accept – even welcome – rejection, your dream of meeting a life partner will most surely never materialize. It will keep you from getting out there and giving it your best.

As I always say: It’s your fear of rejection that’s getting you rejected.

Here are three things I want you to consider before holding back or giving up because of your fear of rejection.

It could actually be a good thing.

I know this is a tough one to believe, especially at the time you’re experiencing it. But sometimes – actually, often – the man who rejects us is doing us a huge favor.

Up until a certain time in our lives many of us tend to go for men who are not good for us. It took me until my mid-40′s to grow myself out of being a Bad Picker. (Are you still in that time of your life?) We’re attracted by all sorts of whacky things and just don’t make the best choices.

Men are smarter than a lot of us think, girlfriend. So if a man senses that he isn’t for you, he will often dump you like a hot potato. Why? Because he knows he won’t be able to make you happy.

Is he doing it as a favor to you? Nope, probably not. He’s doing it to avoid having to deal with your complaints and attempts to change him. Regardless, this may feel lousy when it happens but, in the long run, it’s a good thing.

Here’s an exercise: Look back at the last few men who you felt rejected by. In retrospect, how great were they really? If he had stuck around, how would that have enhanced your life? When you do this, you can’t count the men you merely fantasized about and really never knew. What you imagined he’d be like doesn’t count. I’m talking real guys here who you dated some and got a chance to know. Is your life really so much worse because he’s not in it?

You may be making it up.

How often have you decided that a man is not interested; only to get his call the next day? We gals have an uncanny way of over thinking to the point of simply creating our own reality.

It goes like this: he said he’d give you a call tonight, and he doesn’t. His dog died, he had to work late, or he came down with a cold and didn’t want to sound snotty when he talked to you; so he didn’t call. By the time he calls the next day, you have already talked yourself into such a tizzy…you’re sure he’s dumping you. You feel rejected because you’ve experienced it; even though it wasn’t real.

When this happens, or when you’re in the middle of a date and decide (a.k.a. imagine) that he’s not interested; I can almost guarantee you he won’t be. Once we get it in our heads that we’re going to be rejected, our wall goes up and we’re in protection mode. That’s not attractive, he senses it, and he moves on to a woman who is confident and open to connection.

It’s not as bad as you think.

Losing a loved one, not getting that job you needed to pay your mortgage, finding out you can’t have kids: those are horrific occurrences in life. Having a man say “no” to you…not so bad.

I think that the pain and humiliation we feel goes way back to when we were in junior high school, when a boy not liking us actually was about the worse thing that could happen.

But we’re older now. We have experienced so many other things in life. We need to have perspective and realize that giving so much importance to whether a man likes us or not is unwise and even a bit immature. (Certainly, if your rejection comes in the form of divorce, that’s another story.)

Dwelling over rejection is a waste of time. We have a lot of responsibilities and important things to do with our lives. Getting another date with that hot man you hardly know is not one of those things.
I’m not saying it shouldn’t hurt; it most likely will. I’m just saying that in the whole scheme of things, these rejections should not stop you in your tracks. Take time to go out with your girlfriends, have a couple glasses of wine, and complain about men. Then move on to the next great guy who’s out there waiting for you.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Preeminent Dating Tips for Women

(The following is a re-print of an article on

Dating is an art and who excels in it is never deprived of love in life. To master the art of dating it does not conclude at the first date but for numerous dates to occur following the first date. Nowhere is it written that only men should be experts at dating, even females can work their wonders in this field to captivate the fantasies of their date.

Here are some helpful dating tips for females for a successful relationship:

No matter what, ensure you look great and are comfortable with what you are wearing. Try not to start thinking about negative things like am I his type, will he like my dress and other such worrisome questions can distract you for enjoying your time. Also try not to experiment with a new look on the first date as it's not the time to experiment. What could be worse than trying an outfit that has not been tried and tested before, and ending up with a disaster?

Try to relax and be yourself rather than something you are not.

Never ever come across as too available or too desperate. There is a good chance he will run a mile. As most of the time the men are the once who should do the chasing.

If you think you are not comfortable to have a conversation while sitting at a restaurant suggest an activity that keeps you either occupied such as a sporting event or taking a walk in the park. Try to choose something that is fun and exciting for both you.

Keep your dates brief say to an hour or two, but your men interested. Less is always more and exciting.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

How to Get Your Ex Back

(The following is a re-print of an article on

You are reading this article because your relationship with your spouse is about to break up or has already broken up and you are asking "how to your get ex back"? This article will show you some crucial steps you must take if you want to recover your relationship.

The first step you need to take is not to make the mistake that most people make and what is the mistake? Many people don't accept the break-up. They don't respect the decision of their spouse, so they keep calling up the staff every hour of the day, keep visiting if the spouse rejects seeing them, they send flowers and so on. This method don't work. Despite the fact that many of the broken relationship can be recovered, yet many are not because they people involved don't followed the right step. I know you will recover your own relationship as you follow this crucial steps.

Remember you have to accept the break-up. Respect their decision. Also don't communicate with them, at least not for the next two weeks. Give them the space they ask for and as you do that, they will begin to reflect on the relationship and would start wanting to have you back.

Develop self-confidence.You need a lot of it at this time of your mind, especially since you are going to do all it takes to resist the temptation of calling them up. Hang out with friends, get busy with your life and when your spouse sees that, he will start developing more and more interest with you.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


(The following is a re-post from the blog My Life As A Serial Dater.)

I was talking to my newest favorite today (I'll explain later.)  Anyway, he asked me what my favorite position is.  I responded that it is different with different people, but I really like it from behind.  I wouldn't say that this is the best position ever.  I don't really orgasm this way very often, but I enjoy it.

So, this started a search, both mental and internet based, regarding sexual positions.  My first click led me to a pretty funny site.  It's described as making sex passionate and intimate.  What are people doing?  Why is sex just now becoming passionate or intimate.  I get that it isn't always this way, but why is it never this way for some people?  So, there is this website and it has this video.  I just tried to think of an adjective to describe the video, but it doesn't deserve one.  I stopped watching less than half way through.

When I was talking to The Favorite, we briefly chatted about head games.  Yes, the actual head games where a man or a woman tell a person things to make it easier to get what they want.  That's what led to the sexual positions question.  Just bear with me, people.  So, as I peruse the second site, I see a position called "The Head Game."  Here's the link.  I would love to try it, but I'm 5'10" and I don't think my neck bends that way.  But the angling seems genius and I do yoga.  I think I'm gonna give it a go.  I will have to call in one of my 6'4"ers for this one.  And pray his big ass doesn't break my neck.  If I still have use of my hands after, I will let you know how it goes.

The next one I saw that made me smile was The Pinwheel.  It took my mind back to a night with Lewis.  That was the night when I realized how very compatible he and I were sexually.  I mean, we are compatible in lots of ways, but The Pinwheel just really made me realize my feelings for him.  I will explain those later.

Moving on, The Bootyful View is always a winner.  The Dirty Dangle just sounds disgusting.  The Erotic End is my shit and The Bed Spread is lovely when you have a bed high enough.  The Love Seat is aight, but is only good for certain men, depending on what they like.  Some guys want you to sit on them and make small movements, while others need a wider range of movement.  Then there are those that like it all.

Well, I don't really have anything else to say.  I am going to continue my sex positions browse and write more for you guys.  I don't think this post really needs a conclusion.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

What Do You Do When Your Boyfriend Disappears for a Few Days?!

(The following is a re-print of an article on

So, your boyfriend has gone on to have his own sabbatical? This doesn't mean that the relationship has gone kaput. Keep in mind that men who disappear for a few days just need to do so every once in a while. What you should preoccupy yourself with are these activities:

Don't imprison yourself in your room.

Go out and do other stuff that will keep your mind off him. Moping in your room will only intensify your feelings of loss so just muster the energy to go out and be busy. Seeing only the four corners of your room won't do you any good but a little fresh air would make you see things clearly.

Date out with your girl friends.

If it's been ages since you went out with them, then this is the best moment to meet up with them once more. You may think that the timing is inappropriate but, hey, remember that he was the one who suddenly disappeared so don't let your world collapse just because he's gone!
Never, ever call him!
If you want to show how desperate you are, then go ahead and call his cell phone. But if you believe that you're a dignified woman, then you just wait for the moment when he'll reappear.

A little reflection.

Don't be too quick to point your fingers at him once he comes back. In fact, while he's away, it's time to do a self-assessment. What made him leave? Was he dissatisfied with something? Was he unhappy?

Identify the cause.

So you've made a little reflection, now what? It's time to pinpoint the deeper reason behind his time out. Was he already bored? Has he gone out to be with someone else during these days? Or was he simply taking a breather? Once you've realized what went wrong, then it's time to...

Change or improve yourself.

Has he been asking you to lessen your nagging but you were adamant about your aggressiveness? Has he been hinting that you've become lax when it comes to the looks department? If so, then it's time for a makeover - and fast!

Calmly listen to him once he comes back.

The last thing that your man would need is a squabble right after his time away from you. Calmly listen to his reasons for leaving you. Don't butt in, don't say a word until he's done. If you do this, you'd be better able to understand your man and that is what you would want to happen after all.

Monday, October 11, 2010

"How Do I Control My Neediness Around My Boyfriend?"

(The following is a re-post of an article on

Relationships are perhaps the best things in the world. They help give us comfort and companionship with someone who understands not only our troubles but will also celebrate with us in our triumphs. However, one of the biggest turnoffs for a man is when his girlfriend is way too clingy. Here are a some of the easiest things you can do to avoid being the desperate girlfriend.

Give Yourself Space

First off, hanging out with him all the time not only drives him away but it makes you dependent upon him. Make sure you are giving yourself enough "you" time to keep you happy.

Give Him Space 

If you are calling him all day long for unimportant reasons, or asking him to hang out with you at all times, then you are coming off as desperate and you should back off.

Let Him Do His Own Laundry 

You need to make sure that you are not changing your entire life just to make him happy. He will begin to think that you are crazy and desperate. This does not mean that you shouldn't do anything to help him out when he needs it, just don't try to do everything for him.

Live For You 

Instead of canceling your plans with friends or family just to hang out, you need to give yourself the right amount of time apart. You should never drop all of the commitments you have that are not to him, just to make him happy. While yes, your life should involve a great deal of activities with him, it should not be centered around them.

Let Things Work Out Naturally 

In a relationship, the guy and the girl are supposed to be very close and compatible, however if the two of you are not bff's, you should definitely not try to force it. If he gets the impression that you are being fake just to get closer to him, he will want to run away.

Love Is Blind, Not Stupid 

Just because you love your boyfriend doesn't mean that you should have to deal with his intentionally bad actions. You should love him in spite of his mistakes, but you should not be forced to tolerate his stupid choices.

Don't Plan Everything 

Guys really enjoy a girl who is spontaneous. Yes, planning a romantic vacation is a good idea. And no, planning out every date you are going to have for the next six months is not a great strategy. Make sure you let some things happen on their own, so you don't look like a desperate control freak.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

"Should I Approach Him When He Seems Really Hard to Get?"

(The following is a re-post of an article on

At times we hesitate to make a move on a guy we are really in for because we feel that he is out of our league. But there are a lot of reasons why you shouldn't give this thought much consideration. Here are a few reasons why you should approach a guy who you feel is out of your league and how to do so.

Leagues and boundaries are all a state of mind

Leagues and boundaries are all created by us as a figment of our insecure selves. You need to tell yourself that all people are created equal and are as good and as bad as you are. Life is not a popularity contest and you are not a contestant. Once you get your approach right all else becomes easy to handle.
There is something special about you
All people have something special about themselves. You need to identify what your strong points are and work towards highlighting them. Once you see that you are excelling somewhere you will feel a lot better about yourself and the league business will begin to appear trivial.

Dig deep and get your shot of confidence

Look within yourself and identify where your actual insecurities lie. Once you are able to deal with your real insecurities then you will be able to approach the guy you like with much more ease and comfort.

Everything is worth giving a chance

Life is all about taking chances. You need to keep telling yourself that the higher the risk the greater will be your gain and what do you really have to lose? All you need to do is to give yourself a chance with this guy to see if things will work or not. Don't let the fear of rejection stand in the way of a potential relationship.

Every man has his share of insecurities as well

To feel better and a little more assured know that no matter how cool a guy might be, he too has his share of insecurities. Approaching him with the right spirit might just make him feel more comfortable with you as you will be more grounded and real.

Approach with the right attitude

Have the right attitude when you approach this guy. Being desperate and pushy will not help. But being mature and intelligent and an emotional equal will help you develop his interest in you.

Be fun and entertaining

Lastly, make your man see that time spent with you is going to be a blast and he will fall for you hook, line and sinker.

Saturday, October 9, 2010


(The following is a re-post from the blog My Life As A Serial Dater.)

Occasionally, and not nearly as often as I would like, I have these very vivid dreams.  They involve a man and most of the time they involve sex. While sometimes it's just a touch, others are downright X rated.  As I said, the dreams are very vivid and when I awaken, I am left feeling every emotion and impulse related to the dream as if it was real.

I generally walk the rest of the day, sometimes the rest of the week with this longing for the man that played the main role in the dream.  Sometimes the feeling only lasts a matter of moments and some have lasted to this day.  I remember when I was young (a child) I had a dream about David Hasselhoff, and to this day, I get uneasy when I see The Hoff.  I don't have any attraction to him and the feelings I get aren't that of attraction, but of a strange familiarity.  One I am not comfortable at all.  Now I have to wipe that feeling out of my mind in order to finish writing this. One moment.

Okay, the first time I had an orgasm, I felt that feeling of familiarity.  I realized that I had had orgasms in my dreams, which had manifest into a real physical orgasm.  I just hadn't remembered it when I awoke, until I actually had one.  If you remember the story of Sean, you might remember that the night before we had sex, I had a dream about him.  That dream took over my thoughts.  I couldn't shake the sexual attraction after that.  It was almost like a spell had been cast, like I was cursed.  I would get warm and wet when I thought about him and I have to have him.  I had known him and been attracted to him for almost 2 years, but once I had the dream, 24 hours wouldn't pass before I put my lips to his for the first time and fulfilled my desires.  What could be suppressed in the waking life, could not be suppressed once my desire entered my dream state.  What was once an attraction had become a hunger.

Lately, I don't have these dreams as often as I would like.  However, I had one a few nights ago.  It was very simple.  I walked past him as he was sitting and he touched my hand.  It was like a novel was written in that one touch.  If a picture is worth a thousand words, that touch in my dream was worth every word ever spoken.  After 5 years, the dream was about Sean.  He has invaded me again.  I can't help but wonder why it's him in the dreams.  I don't think I am that out of touch with my thoughts and feelings, but I don't remember ever wanting him this much before the dreams started.  He not only plays the lead role in most of my fantasies these days, but he's even been known to text or call while I am masturbating to thoughts of him.  How am I supposed to think about anything else if this keeps happening?  Apparently, not even 1000 miles between us can break this hunger.  I need to see him again.  I am resourceful... Especially when I am determined.  Stay tuned ... Dreams can come true.

Originally posted by PolyAmory

Friday, October 8, 2010

How to Meet Men at the Gym

(The following is a re-post of an article on

It's not easy to meet men, especially if you're a divorced woman. You may have a lot of concerns that are preventing you from achieving your goal. Major blocks like low confidence level, fear of rejection and other emotional issues. Other factors include not knowing where to go or how to meet men. Nevertheless, one thing is for sure - there are many good quality men out there. You just need to get out of the house and deal with your discomfort and fear.

If you want to meet men without getting nervous, you need to be comfortable with your surroundings. In other words, go where your interests are. In this article, we're going to focus on how to meet guys at the health club.

For health and fitness-minded people, this is the best place to go. Meeting guys at the gym are a win-win situation. Not only will you be able to get in shape, but you will also broaden your dating opportunities. In fact, the gym is one of the stops most guys make before or after going to work.

If you don't see any guys at your gym, come back another day, or try a different place. Once there, sign up in one of their exercise classes. Survey the place and look for a friendly-looking guy who seems your type. Next, make eye contact and give him a smile. If you see the guy again, approach him and say hi. After the class, invite him for a refreshing drink at the snack bar.

You can also go to the weightlifting or free weights area. Look around for a guy who fits your preferences. Approach him and watch him work out. If he doesn't seem irritated with you watching him, smile and give praise. Compliment him on how easy and effortless it is for him to lift those heavy weights.

If the guy smiles after hearing your compliment, stay until he finishes. Then, ask him for advice and tips. Tell him you are thinking of lifting weights (even though you're really not). You would know if the guy is also interested in you if he offers to help you out.

Hang out at the gym's snack bar. If you don't see any guy, sit at one of the tables alone. Read a newspaper or magazine while drinking your cold drink or coffee. Who knows a guy might walk up to you and ask to join you.

You can also look around and see if a guy is sitting all alone. If you spot a guy who seems your type, buy a coffee or snack. Next, walk up to the guy and ask him if it would be okay to join him. It's that simple. These are just some ways on how to meet men at the gym. Remember; don't be afraid to strike up a conversation.

After all, what's the worst thing that can happen?

Thursday, October 7, 2010

3 Reasons to Use Online Dating Services

(The following is a re-post of an article on

In the past, people thought of online dating services as a last resort for desperate people. This can't be further from the truth as these services prove to be a great way to find your next boyfriend or girlfriend. If it's been months since you been out on a date, here are three reasons why you should utilize these online services.

Pre-Screen Your Date

Most online dating sites require that you fill out a profile and submit a photo. Many sites also match you to other members based on compatibility. By study a person's profile, you can determine if this is the right person for you. If you are looking for a wife, there is no sense pursing a lady just looking for companionship. If you want kids, you would find a mate that want kids. Their photo allows you to see if you are physically attracted to them.

Save Time and Money

Many daters have been in the situation where they've been on a few dates but later find that this person is not right for them. It's a great thing to know when to end a relationship before it goes too far but it comes at the expense of wasted time and money going out on dates, just to see if you are right for each other. Online dating services can allow you to answer many questions about your date before the wining and dining.

Find Other Like Minded People

It's often advised to meet someone at the library or the supermarket. While this can be good advice at times, people in the supermarket aren't there to find a date. They just want to do their shopping and be left alone. By using an online service, you know that everyone on that website is looking for a date and you won't be "bothering" them by trying to get to know them.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

"Why Do Guys Stop Liking Me After a While?"

(The following is a re-post of an article on

Are you one of the unfortunate gang of women who find themselves alone or dumped after dating for a while? If you are seriously wondering what went wrong with the relationship and why in the world your guy lost interest in you, then it is time to read the following tips and give yourself a reality check!

Too demanding and bossy

Men hate women who are too demanding and bossy. They get disillusioned with a woman who has changed her nature, behavior and attitudes once they think they have hooked their man! This not only proves that she was pretending to be someone else but that she is dishonest and insincere. No wonder he will lose interest after a while!

Expectations are very high

Are your expectations too high? It could be that you tend to put your man on a pedestal and when he does not come up to your standards or expectations - you treat him badly or with disrespect! This type of behavior will put him under undue stress and pressure. He will leave you and stop having feelings for you.

Too vain

Look back and see if your behavior has proved that you are too preoccupied with your looks! If he finds you too vain and proud of your looks, he is bound to get put off after a while. Besides he must be fed up with answering all those questions you keep asking him about how you look, whether your hair looks good, if your dress is flattering to your figure etc.

Too possessive

One way to lose your guy is to become over possessive! Don't try to chain him down. Don't show him that you are suspicious of every woman in his life! This not only will show him that you don't trust him at all, but he will get fed up with your possessive and jealous attitude and will stop liking you after a while.

Too intimidating

Maybe you don't realize it - but you may be a bit too intimidating. Do you shove your accomplishments and talents in his face once too many times? Do you come across as over confident and above par? If you do, then he might find it hard to match you in more ways than one!

Too serious

Hey! Maybe it's time for you to lighten up a little! Are you to serious? Do you never have time for a good joke? Do you behave like a wet blanket? If the answer to all these queries is "yes" then it is obvious that you do not have a good sense of humor and he will begin to resent this fact and stop liking you.

Too fast and easy

No guy likes it to be known by one and all that his girl is too fast and easy! This not only makes him look like a fool to be dating her, but he will begin to resent all the flirting and "come on" looks you give guys without even realizing it! He will stop liking you for sure!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

7 Reasons Why Men Act Really Cold After a Certain Point

(The following is a re-post of an article on

Is the fact that the men you have had relationships with in the past withdrew after being intimate, puzzles and confuses you? There are many reasons as to why men withdraw and go cold after they have been intimate with you. Here are some tips that will give you a bit of insight into their psychology and help you understand why they do this.

He is afraid of commitment

Even though he is loving and passionate while he was intimate with you, he actually could be riddled with fears of commitment. This is why he feels like withdrawing and moving away from you because he is afraid that you might read too much into the act of intimacy and place demands on him.

He has no real feelings for you

If he has been taking you for a ride and has been intimate with you for selfish reasons alone, he will not take the risk of continuing with the relationship in case it leads to commitment and marriage. If he is just a player he will only think of his pleasure and satisfaction. This is why it is easy for him to withdraw after intimacy.

He is actually insecure and confused about his feelings

There are plenty of men who are basically confused and insecure with regards to their feelings for their women. If your man is one of these, he will be afraid to have a serious conversation with you for fear of having to face talk of commitment and marriage. If your guy is unsure as to what he feels for you other than lust - he will withdraw after intimacy in order to be safe.

He feels awkward and uncomfortable

Sometimes a man will be intimate with a woman because he has been swept away on the tide of passion. If he has been intimate just because he could not resist you physically, and he does not really have feelings of love towards you, he will feel awkward and uncomfortable after!

He is plain and downright selfish

If your guy is very selfish and does not bother about hurting you, then he will think nothing of taking advantage of you and using you only for his pleasure. He is not the type who will stick around after being intimate with you and will withdraw as quickly as possible.

He thinks it is better to keep you guessing

If your man does not want to divulge his true feelings for you just yet and wants to keep you guessing as to his intentions towards you, he is likely to withdraw after being intimate with you. He will want you to chase him in order to find out if he really loves you.

He does not want you to get ideas about him

Here again, a man who is not serious about you but wants to enjoy the pleasures of being intimate with you, will not stick around for you to question him. As soon as he has had his way with you, he will make himself scarce and avoid any sort of confrontation with you. Such a man is usually also ridden with guilt.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Catch Him and Keep Him (Part I)

(To see Part II of this video, click on the embedded video to visit the hosting YouTube channel.)

Sunday, October 3, 2010

5 Diva Dating Tips

(The following is an excerpt from an article by Jay Cataldo on

Put these 5 quick Diva dating tips to use and watch the men start lining up outside your door:

1. Stop Being A Pleaser

Don’t fall into the trap of trying to impress a man by handing over a laundry list of your best qualities or purposely agreeing with everything he says.  Why bother?  You’re fabulous and you know it!  Divas sit back calm, cool and a bit coy and let the man work for their attention and interest.

2. Drink Responsibly

If you still party like a sorority girl, very few men will take you seriously.  Divas are well aware of this and exercise care when consuming alcohol on dates.  Know your limits and switch to a non-alcoholic beverage once you find yourself starting to slip past the “feel-good buzz” zone.

3. Caress Him With Your Eyes

Eye contact is a powerful weapon in the Diva arsenal.  Staring directly into a person’s eyes causes their body to release “PEA”, the chemical that creates the butterflies, tingling, and changes in heart rate that accompany attraction.  Use this technique to your advantage and flood your date’s body with heart-melting love chemicals.

4. Use Your Vibe To Communicate Sexually

Divas don’t use heavy makeup, revealing clothing or overt sexual gestures to increase their perceived attractiveness.  Instead, you should adhere to the Diva way of broadcasting a subtle, sexual vibe by using the power of your mind.  To do this, think sexual thoughts and allow those good feelings to wash over you as you remain relaxed and composed on the outside.  Putting yourself in this state of mind will transmit these feelings to your date and make him wonder why he suddenly feels so irresistibly attracted to you.

5. Give Him The Greatest Gift Of All

The greatest gift a Diva can give her date is her full attention.  Since most men aren’t used to having a woman hanging on their every word, you’ll be creating a vacuum that allows him to open up to you.  And the added benefit it that he will find you absolutely captivating, even if you don’t do much talking at all.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

4 Things Women Don't (Should) Do When Dating

(The following is a re-print from an article on

Sometimes, having the right advice can make all the difference.  This is definitely the case when it comes to dating advice for women.  In this article, I am going to go over 4 of the most common things that women don’t do when dating men.  Implementing the suggestions that I make here will give you a much higher chance of starting out your relationships with men on the right track.

Tip #1 – Define and Set Your Expectations

My first piece of dating advice for women would be to define and set clear expectations of what it is that you want out of the relationship.

a)  Know why she desires to be in a relationship  (Companionship, financial security, marriage, etc…) and what she expects to gain from being in one.

b)   Decide whether or not the man she is with wants the same things she wants (common interests, compatibility) providing she’s already in a relationship.

c)   Develop better listening and observation skills while being with your potential mate.
While doing the above, you will find that time is too valuable to waste and this will weed out the undesirables while saving yourself from much strife and heartache.

Tip #2 – Use Your Observation Skills

My second piece of dating advice for women would be to make greater use of your ability to observe and analyze a man’s behavior.  Proper observation and identification of behavior can and will make all the difference in a new relationship.

When a woman first meets the man she’s interested in, she should get to know him very well if she decides he may be someone she can see herself becoming serious with.  In the initial stages of dating, we (men) are going to want to impress you.  Let us talk and just sit back and listen.  Men reveal a lot about themselves initially when first meeting a woman.

Attend various functions with him when invited.  Observe how he interacts with his female colleagues, friends and family members alike.  Does he change in demeanor when he’s around others as opposed to when you are alone?  A woman should also know where her significant other works, know more about his family, perhaps even meeting them if possible.

Tip #3 – Know The Difference Between Honesty And Arrogance

My third piece of dating advice for women would be to understand that there is a difference between honesty and arrogance.  How fast you can make this distinction can have a huge impact on whether or not you take the next step with a man that you are interested in.

Men have to be confident in their initial approach.  Not arrogant.  There is a difference.  Also be honest from the on start of a relationship.  Research shows that women are turned on by confident and honest men.  They appreciate the honesty because a man is giving the woman the option as to whether or not she still wants to pursue the relationship after hearing what he has to say. Being honest shows confidence in a man.
I recall years ago inviting a young lady out for coffee after having a lengthy conversation.  She smiled and apologized to me indicating that she was already involved.  I simply returned the smile and informed her that I think she misunderstood my invitation.  I wasn’t asking her out on a date, I simply invited her out for coffee being that we had common interests.  Approximately two weeks after not seeing her, she invited me out to dinner asking where have I been these past couple of weeks.

Basically, we both had an interesting conversation, interesting enough to invite her out for coffee.  But I wasn’t going to mention it again.  The invite, as far as I was concerned, was me putting the ball in her court.  If she decided to pursue me she would let me know in due time.  Just like for the ladies, if a woman declines your advances after a few times of indicating your interest in her, move on.

Tip #4 – Have Your Personal Finances In Order

My last piece of dating advice for women is about money.  In past years, personal finances might not have been much of an issue for women.  This is simply no longer the case.  Women, just as much as men, should always make sure that their financial affairs are in order before pursuing a committed relationship.

Your career, financial security and having your own place are the first things that a woman generally should look at when evaluating a potential mate.  Dating is one thing but committing to someone is another.  Statistics show that over 50% of divorces occur over disputes involving money.  You can avoid being a victim of this by being financially secure before pursuing a serious relationship.

Ladies, if you take the time to address the key issues that I have outlined in this article, I am confident that you will be able to determine the pulse of your relationship.  I’d also love to hear your feedback. Whether your agree or disagree with my dating advice for women, I want to know about it – so please feel free to tell me what is on your mind.