Do you believe there's such a thing as a soulmate?

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Seriously, Are You Ready for a Relationship?

There are 5 things you must have to be ready for a serious relationship:

1. Have your own life

Guys love it when women have their own lives. When you have your own life, you become instantly more desirable because you’ll be more interesting to talk to and guys will feel like dating you is a challenge (in a good way). That being said, always return calls promptly, no matter how busy you are. You want him to have to chase you, but you don’t want him to think you’re impossible to catch. 

2. Be emotionally available and get the attitude that works

If you’re in the stage of not being over your ex boyfriend, you can date casually all you want, but realize that you can’t emotionally commit to a new guy if you still love your ex. The next stage people go through after a breakup is, “I just don’t want to date right now” or “I love being single”. It is a waste of your time to look for a match if you are in one of these stages.

You need the attitude that works for dating, which is the power of attraction. Think that you are going to meet your match, and you will put energy and time to that. You have to realize that you will have bad dates and disappointments before you meet your match, but you need to find the right attitude, time and emotional availability. Most people give up before they meet their match. 

3. You are confident

The #1 thing guys say they want in women is confidence and style. In fact, around 92% of men asked specifically for a confident and trendy woman. A confident and trendy woman is an attractive (note I didn’t say beautiful!) woman and irresistible to men.

The saying goes, “If you can’t love yourself, what makes you think somebody else will?” There’s a lot of truth to that, and you should take it to heart. You must learn to love yourself if you expect to love someone else and have him love you back.

You should invest time in your mind, body and soul if you want to become confident. Go to the gym, go shopping, get your hair done, invest in your health, read a good book, meditate, take a class, etc.  Plus, each small success you have will boost your confidence. That’s not all you need to become confident if your current confidence level is zero, but it’s a good place to start. 

4. Have the right expectations

The biggest problem I see is that women are not prepared for dating. They had too high of expectations for who their match should be, and they would chase men who would never like them back. You need to look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself who would want to be with a woman like me for the rest of his life?  The two best things to do are to improve yourself or lower your expectations. 

5. You are ready to dedicate time and play the numbers

A survey of 1,000 women I conducted suggests that it takes 80% of women approximately 16 dates at a local dating service or 36 dates through online dating sites to be find their matches. Although you can find love after only 4 dates if you’re lucky, it takes most of us (myself included) A LOT longer.
Data from the thousands of women also suggest that most women give up dating after only 6 dates. You have to be ready to play the numbers and go on as many dates as possible. If you’re not willing to date at least twice a week, you might not be ready to be in a serious relationship. If you can’t find the time to date and you’re not emotionally available, what makes you think you’ll have the time and energy to have a relationship with your match?

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