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Monday, October 11, 2010

"How Do I Control My Neediness Around My Boyfriend?"

(The following is a re-post of an article on

Relationships are perhaps the best things in the world. They help give us comfort and companionship with someone who understands not only our troubles but will also celebrate with us in our triumphs. However, one of the biggest turnoffs for a man is when his girlfriend is way too clingy. Here are a some of the easiest things you can do to avoid being the desperate girlfriend.

Give Yourself Space

First off, hanging out with him all the time not only drives him away but it makes you dependent upon him. Make sure you are giving yourself enough "you" time to keep you happy.

Give Him Space 

If you are calling him all day long for unimportant reasons, or asking him to hang out with you at all times, then you are coming off as desperate and you should back off.

Let Him Do His Own Laundry 

You need to make sure that you are not changing your entire life just to make him happy. He will begin to think that you are crazy and desperate. This does not mean that you shouldn't do anything to help him out when he needs it, just don't try to do everything for him.

Live For You 

Instead of canceling your plans with friends or family just to hang out, you need to give yourself the right amount of time apart. You should never drop all of the commitments you have that are not to him, just to make him happy. While yes, your life should involve a great deal of activities with him, it should not be centered around them.

Let Things Work Out Naturally 

In a relationship, the guy and the girl are supposed to be very close and compatible, however if the two of you are not bff's, you should definitely not try to force it. If he gets the impression that you are being fake just to get closer to him, he will want to run away.

Love Is Blind, Not Stupid 

Just because you love your boyfriend doesn't mean that you should have to deal with his intentionally bad actions. You should love him in spite of his mistakes, but you should not be forced to tolerate his stupid choices.

Don't Plan Everything 

Guys really enjoy a girl who is spontaneous. Yes, planning a romantic vacation is a good idea. And no, planning out every date you are going to have for the next six months is not a great strategy. Make sure you let some things happen on their own, so you don't look like a desperate control freak.

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