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Saturday, October 2, 2010

4 Things Women Don't (Should) Do When Dating

(The following is a re-print from an article on

Sometimes, having the right advice can make all the difference.  This is definitely the case when it comes to dating advice for women.  In this article, I am going to go over 4 of the most common things that women don’t do when dating men.  Implementing the suggestions that I make here will give you a much higher chance of starting out your relationships with men on the right track.

Tip #1 – Define and Set Your Expectations

My first piece of dating advice for women would be to define and set clear expectations of what it is that you want out of the relationship.

a)  Know why she desires to be in a relationship  (Companionship, financial security, marriage, etc…) and what she expects to gain from being in one.

b)   Decide whether or not the man she is with wants the same things she wants (common interests, compatibility) providing she’s already in a relationship.

c)   Develop better listening and observation skills while being with your potential mate.
While doing the above, you will find that time is too valuable to waste and this will weed out the undesirables while saving yourself from much strife and heartache.

Tip #2 – Use Your Observation Skills

My second piece of dating advice for women would be to make greater use of your ability to observe and analyze a man’s behavior.  Proper observation and identification of behavior can and will make all the difference in a new relationship.

When a woman first meets the man she’s interested in, she should get to know him very well if she decides he may be someone she can see herself becoming serious with.  In the initial stages of dating, we (men) are going to want to impress you.  Let us talk and just sit back and listen.  Men reveal a lot about themselves initially when first meeting a woman.

Attend various functions with him when invited.  Observe how he interacts with his female colleagues, friends and family members alike.  Does he change in demeanor when he’s around others as opposed to when you are alone?  A woman should also know where her significant other works, know more about his family, perhaps even meeting them if possible.

Tip #3 – Know The Difference Between Honesty And Arrogance

My third piece of dating advice for women would be to understand that there is a difference between honesty and arrogance.  How fast you can make this distinction can have a huge impact on whether or not you take the next step with a man that you are interested in.

Men have to be confident in their initial approach.  Not arrogant.  There is a difference.  Also be honest from the on start of a relationship.  Research shows that women are turned on by confident and honest men.  They appreciate the honesty because a man is giving the woman the option as to whether or not she still wants to pursue the relationship after hearing what he has to say. Being honest shows confidence in a man.
I recall years ago inviting a young lady out for coffee after having a lengthy conversation.  She smiled and apologized to me indicating that she was already involved.  I simply returned the smile and informed her that I think she misunderstood my invitation.  I wasn’t asking her out on a date, I simply invited her out for coffee being that we had common interests.  Approximately two weeks after not seeing her, she invited me out to dinner asking where have I been these past couple of weeks.

Basically, we both had an interesting conversation, interesting enough to invite her out for coffee.  But I wasn’t going to mention it again.  The invite, as far as I was concerned, was me putting the ball in her court.  If she decided to pursue me she would let me know in due time.  Just like for the ladies, if a woman declines your advances after a few times of indicating your interest in her, move on.

Tip #4 – Have Your Personal Finances In Order

My last piece of dating advice for women is about money.  In past years, personal finances might not have been much of an issue for women.  This is simply no longer the case.  Women, just as much as men, should always make sure that their financial affairs are in order before pursuing a committed relationship.

Your career, financial security and having your own place are the first things that a woman generally should look at when evaluating a potential mate.  Dating is one thing but committing to someone is another.  Statistics show that over 50% of divorces occur over disputes involving money.  You can avoid being a victim of this by being financially secure before pursuing a serious relationship.

Ladies, if you take the time to address the key issues that I have outlined in this article, I am confident that you will be able to determine the pulse of your relationship.  I’d also love to hear your feedback. Whether your agree or disagree with my dating advice for women, I want to know about it – so please feel free to tell me what is on your mind.

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