Do you believe there's such a thing as a soulmate?

Monday, July 5, 2010

Back to Your Future?

Whatever you've got planned, leave us out of it... for a time, at least.

You've been planning your wedding day-- and, by implication, the rest of your life-- since before you knew it would actually cost "grown-ups money."  With all that I'll show you mine if you show me yours play from high school and/or college out of your system, it's time to get serious; every man you date now must be a potential winner of the reality show that is your love search!

But... men don't give a shit, so don't bring it up from go.

And do not bring up your plans for the future on a first date.  You just met me!  (Or maybe I should've written "him" there; everyone knows I don't date.)  We're still trying to figure out how long it's going to take to sleep with you, not pondering where we should register.  Your only expectations in the beginning should be that we pay for dinner, call you regularly and refrain from wearing any colognes from the 90s (Cool Water, anyone?).

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