Thursday, July 22, 2010
Exercises in Futility
I attended an open forum discussion on relations between black men and black women last night that degenerated into a shouting match after the first question.
Thing is, I expected that it would.
Keep in mind, these were educated, accomplished folks. The women started in first with their complaints and the men naturally became defensive, resentful. Grandiose statements were made... Bible verses quoted... personal stories brought to the fore... but not a jot of progress.
Forums like these usually become just a cathartic go-round where women get their turns to air their grievances with black men and indict us for all the ways in which we've failed to measure up as a generation. It seems that black women love black men but that's it's a heavy-handed kind of love-- borne out of some sense of history and nostalgia that does nothing for 2010.
One woman remarked that we shouldn't even try to date because in the Bible people didn't do so. This is true as no dating was needed back then; you women belonged to your fathers and they "sold" you to your husbands who became your new masters.
Not all history is good history, and not every problem can be solved in a conversation.