Do you believe there's such a thing as a soulmate?

Monday, March 8, 2010

Cosmo Has Failed You for the Last Time (Hopefully)

I was reading through women’s magazines the other day-- research, of course-- and saw an article in Cosmopolitan about what men’s text messages really mean. Intrigued, I read it, and found that Cosmo has failed you… hopefully for the last time.

Their answers were too reassuring. For instance: If the guy hits you with a line from a comedy, it’s his attempt to be funny; how cute. If the guy sends an indecipherable message, it means that he believes you two are already mentally in-synch; how adorable.

The article never addressed the more nefarious motives behind a man-text nor the reasons why a man would text you about the “important” things rather than calling you directly (this is covered in a previous New Shoes entry).

It was at this point that I realized that women’s magazines coddle you in an attempt to sell issues with bullshit articles such as “101 Things That’ll Drive Him Wild!” [Note: There are really only two or three.] Even when men are consulted they give the answers women want to hear, not the ones they require in order to navigate the minefield that is dating men.

So put that five dollar bill back in your purse and read this blog for free. It might make you sad or pissed off but it won't make you dumber, which means more.

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