Your Own Worst Frenemy

There’s a type of woman in your SATC crew that we men have identified, even if you haven’t. She’s not a real friend but a part of your social galaxy nevertheless. When you blow up at him you run to tell all your girls about it-- including this woman. Like the rest she listens, nods, reassures you that it’s his fault and not yours, all the while wondering how this benefits her.

Almost every woman, either through complicity or ignorance, has a “frenemy” in their circle of friends.

But why worry about her? She’s not an emergency contact friend. She only infrequently joins the rest of you for girls’ night out. Your relationship is through a mutual friend. She even has another clique of go-to girls.

The problem is that she knows a lot about your man, because you told her. She also knows about the problems you might be having with your man-- because you told her. Yeah, you told the others too, but it doesn’t occur to them to use this intel to give it to you in the back.

“This doesn’t apply to me. I don’t have any so-called frenemies and my man and I are fine.”

The second statement is delusional, the third tentative. Chances are your man knows who your frenemy is. Men have subtle ways of feeling out which of your friends they may be able to “lean on” if things with you become troublesome (a frenemy may readily reveal herself as such). They won’t do this consciously; they won’t even act on it-- unless.

“He wouldn’t want my frenemy anyway. *laugh* She is not cute.”

So? Men just need their egos stroked, and your homely hater friend will do. She already knows what he likes and doesn’t like-- by watching and listening to you-- and because she’s inside your camp she can use disinformation to enable the creep, like so:

“Girl, I know where he was on his lunch break. I ran into him at the mall. I made him confess he was looking for a gift for you!” This is a story that, between he and she, can be corroborated and confirmed (for only $19.99 at Things Remembered).