You won’t date him-- or, more importantly, give him some ass-- because he’s just too nice; but he seems well-adjusted to his position in the Friend Zone, right? Don’t believe it.
Not every man has the ingredients to be an asshole. Some don’t have the stomach to tell you that your “Go get ‘em!” dress is horrible, that when you speak you sound dumb, and that your unique snowflake vagina is… *yawn* Others just figure to separate themselves from jerks and douche bags by eschewing a slap on the ass in favor of a shoulder you can cry on.
Different tactics, same goals.
The nice guy isn’t really nice. How to test this theory? Go to your nice guy friend-- or “gay homeboy status” as he’s known to other men-- and tell him he can tap that. If he doesn’t at least consider it then 1) he really is gay and 2) I owe you an item off the 99¢ menu at Wendy’s.
Being nice and wanting to smash chicks are not mutually exclusive ideas. Nice guys typically fail for the same reason the Democratic Party does: They don’t know how to just bend you over, kick your feet apart for a wide stance and jam it up your ass without so much as a “Can I?”
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