First Dates are Like Paying for a Job Interview (to Men)

Ah, the first date. Win-win for a woman, really. You either get a shot at a potential long-term relationship or a free meal at a four-star restaurant. There are almost always guarantees for a woman, even where bad first dates are concerned.

For a man, not so much.

Imagine there’s a new job in your area that pays well and offers good benefits and vacation/sick time-- but there’s a catch: you have to pay just to interview for the job, and there’s still no guarantee you’ll get it. Scams like this are run every day using online job search websites, and people are so desperate for employment that they’re easily duped.

You’d consider them suckers, of course, so why not a man on a first date? I know, I know-- it’s all up to us whether the date goes well or not. Even if we were disqualified from minute one because there was “just no spark” at least we’ll get to masturbate later to the feeling of satisfaction that can only be derived from paying for a grown-ass woman’s dinner. Score!

Going Dutch on a first date is a sensible idea, but it’s also a heretical one. A guy who won’t even pay for dinner is just trying to get something for nothing, right? Well, that actually implies that he’s getting something. (Your thanks and admiration don’t count.)

Check, please.