Family Life as a Mask Men Wear

My opinions and advice are unpopular with some-- mostly married women. They like to go off in my George Foreman something like this:

“I can’t believe the stuff that comes out of your mouth. Thank God my husband is nothing like you, doesn’t have friends like you filling his head with your bullshit. I’ll admit that there are things women do that try men’s nerves but it’s a two-way street. You’d know that if you were married. In the end it’s he and I against the world; that secures our bond. He’s kind, respectful, sincere, responsible, and he loves me, our kids… even my mother! Our wedded bliss defies your logic.”

Of course it does… and it should. Men who want to have their cake and eat it too, who want to act with impunity while avoiding detection and disgrace, who don’t want to burst the bubble you’ve built around this blissful life, don’t call their side-pussy from their regular cell phones or e-mail them from their regular accounts. They don’t go out with their mistresses to places you two frequent, and they don’t deny you sex because they just had it with someone else. They don’t forget special occasions or shy away from their kids. They don’t hesitate to volunteer at the community center, at your church. Being a good husband, he knows, is his ultimate gift to you-- your trophy… his mask.

Family life actually affords a man the optimum cover. There’s a reason corporations favor married job candidates over singles: married men are perceived as more altruistic, dependable, team-oriented, moral, tame, etc. John Edwards was the prototype until he showed his ass; Tiger Woods also. This isn’t to put down marriage-- yours, uniquely-- but to stress that all that glitters isn’t necessarily gold (you’ll earn that distinction after 50 years of defying my bullshit logic).