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Saturday, August 7, 2010

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(The following is a reprinted post from the blog "My Life As A Serial Dater.")


... retentive? or ... sex?

Do you even have to ask?

It's always been a legend to me. Anal sex was something my friends talked about. They would say how much they enjoyed it and I always imagined they were lying, because they didn't want to say that they were doing something solely to please a man. It wasn't until recently that I thought about the process and wondered if it could possibly be a pleasing experience.

My ass was uncharted territory. Yes, I said "was." Well, that's not totally true. It's seen a finger... or two, but never at the same time. Nothing even close to a penis. I was always scared. I have heard horror stories about prolapsed rectums and other totally unappealing side-effects. But, I have never met anyone who has experienced anything even remotely that bad. The worst stories I got from friends were of discomfort. Nothing major. Just that it hurt a bit at first and that you have to take it slowly.

So, I embarked on a fact-finding mission. I asked friends, read medical journals, polled people on the street. I was determined to get the real scoop on anal sex. Turns out, if I tried it, I was probably going to come out unscathed. I was not totally convinced, so I put it into negotiation with my partner of choice.

There was only one guy that I could entrust with such a delicate task. So, I broached the subject. I started by finding out if my choice man had ever done it. I really wanted to try it with someone that had never done it before. Turns out, he was the perfect choice. Other than being smitten with him, he was gentle and I knew he was someone I could trust. We talked about it a bit and then our minds were made up. We were going to try it.

I still had to think about it for a while, but the more I thought and consulted friends, the more confident I became in my decision. Corporations and the IRS fuck me in the ass all the time, why not extend the invitation to the guy I was sleeping with? I was going to do it.

So, the next time I was at his place, we got all cozied up in bed and I got on top of him and, following Maria's earlier instruction, I attempted to control the flow. This wasn't working. I was very tense at first. I am not sure what happened in the middle, but I know by the end I was face down on the bed with him on top of me and I was relaxed.

It was good. The process itself wasn't great. We were both new to it. We would have to work at it a bit, but it was not unpleasant at all. Once we got into a rhythm, it was really good. I could tell it felt good for him (different, but good) and I was sucked into the overall feel. Gradually, the physical aspect felt better and better. I just had to relax and enjoy it. It was a more-than-successful attempt. We knocked it out of the park. And, we were each other's firsts. I never thought I would get to experience that with anyone again. It was nice.

So, I am no longer a butt virgin. I won't be takin' it up the rear frequently, but it was a great experience that I don't regret at all. I had the perfect storm: a great partner, a relaxed mood, a bottle of lube and my mind made up to try something new. And in the end, it was worth the research, the negotiations and the slight soreness the next day.

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