Do you believe there's such a thing as a soulmate?

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

A Portrait of the Asshole as a Young Man 17

I always laugh when people shake their heads at me and say, "I can't wait till somebody knocks you off your feet and you get married. Bunch of little rugrats running around.  I just hope I'm there."

Yeah ... I hope the forces of light and darkness are there too, 'cause that'll be the end of the world.

Seriously, I've never understood other people -- single or not -- wishing for me to end up with a wife and kids, especially if it's anathema to what I want in my life.  "Life is what happens while you're making plans," some say; then why fucking plan for anything with that logic?

People act like you're missing out on something by not being married or a parent, like it's some mysterious condition that one has to be initiated into to understand (like the Masonry, I suppose).    That might be true, but I could argue that those same people are missing out on a lot by not being single.

Thing is, I don't.

If you want to live the married life, the life of a parent, I'm fine with that.  Just don't treat me like a fringe dweller because I'm on the George Clooney Plan.  And why does Clooney get a pass anyway?  If Clooney managed the local Office Depot his bachelor status would either be derided as selfish narcissism or offered as proof of latent homosexuality.  But since he's a star ...

I don't rule out completely a life of matrimony and/or parenthood -- I don't know what the future holds for sure (just like Brett Favre's teams in the off-season) -- but I don't need folks casting lots as to when I'm going to fall from my tight rope walk.  What you should do instead is make your marriage and your kids look as appealing to me as ever.  Problem is, many of you cannot.


  1. People see following the status quo to actually be their form of progress. Getting married and having kids is the next step, or so they've been told, so they do it. If you don't fall into that same routine, then there is something wrong with you. God forbid they have to admit that their life choices are not for everyone or that they weren't even the right choice for them. You should be mirroring their life, so that they don't have to see the shade of green on the other side.