Do you believe there's such a thing as a soulmate?

Friday, August 20, 2010


Hey, want to see your man freak the fuck out?  Let him know you've fallen off on your birth control regimen, but that you know everything will be okay no matter what comes of this.


There isn't just a condom for men out there but now there's one for women as well.  Don't like those?  How about a diaphragm?  Too old-fashioned?  Too much like Mom?

They have implants that are supposed to work for a number of years, but then you might fuck around and forget that number.

They have injections... unless you're squeamish around needles.  Then there's the patch which I think is great if you're already rocking a nicotine patch on the other arm -- it's call symmetry, people.

Say what?  It's an emergency?  Thank God it's 2010 'cause they've got a pill you can take the morning after; it's simply called the "morning after pill."  My friends and I call it a M.A.M. (Morning After Mickey) since we're not above slipping it into your coffee at breakfast to ensure the afterglow doesn't glow on for eighteen-plus years.

The point is, there's no excuse.  It shouldn't even escalate to the point where we men are forced to either lie through our teeth or do something cowardly.  It's the ability to enjoy sex without producing children that separates us from the animals -- so let's act like it.

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