Do you believe there's such a thing as a soulmate?

Monday, August 23, 2010

For When a Jump-off Goes On...

Jump-off: A female who is available any time and any place for any type of sexual encounter (according to the Urban Dictionary)

Sometimes, a jump-off goes beyond a one night stand.  Should this happen, a few things to keep in mind:

Leave a toothbrush at his place... but don't make it too "girly" and don't try and lay it up next to his (y'know, like "His" and "Hers").

Do send dirty text messages... but only after dark; that is your time... the time of the Jump-off... when the freaks come out.

Spoon... but don't cuddle.

Pride yourself on knowing things about him that most people don't... but keep your motherfucking mouth shut.

You can ask to go out on a "date"... but don't press it if you value being his ongoing jump-off.

Rock his world... but don't try to live in it.


  1. Same goes for you guys. Cept don't try that toothbrush shit. That needs to be kept in your overnight bag, thanks.

  2. But what if he forgets the bag?!? Death by Doo-Doo Breath at Dawn!!! [maniacal laugh]