Do you believe there's such a thing as a soulmate?

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

A Portrait of the Asshole as a Young Man 6

Me after she finished her "dissertation" on the Jay-Z/Illuminati link.
I'm a man who's easily bored.

If I were a woman I'd be that chick in the club who rolls her eyes and yawns every five minutes at what she sees and hears, ready to hop to the next venue, always in search of the new-new.

This is why I could never get married.  I could actually see myself having children (though I don't want them either); their capacity to surprise and impress is as vast as the cost of keeping them fed, clothed and entertained.  But the average woman would just as quickly become predictable, pedestrian.

I like that word-- pedestrian.  It means "commonplace, unimaginative."  What's funny to me is that every woman who hears this immediately attempts a rebuttal: "That's 'cause you haven't been spending your time with above-average girls."  And I assume they're alluding to themselves, suggesting that they occupy some higher echelon of excitement and wonder where I would have only to open my eyes and roll over in bed to lay hold to my next great adventure.  LMBAO!  Doesn't every woman think of herself as an infinite well of fun and fancy free, a constant source of joy who should be rewarded accordingly?

Don't get me wrong.  I don't expect to be amused, but I do suffer from relationship ADHD.  Good pussy is its own version of Ritalin or Adderall, but even that loses its effectiveness over time.  I'm not even sure what "good pussy" is, anyway.  Last time I checked, whatever pussy a man was in could be considered, for him, "good."

Most women want a boyfriend on the strength of whether or not he can be interesting, not whether or not she can be interesting to him.  I hate wasting creative energy where there's no reciprocity, and if I'm going to be bored out of my mind I'd rather do that with my boys.  Any woman can be intriguing for a month or two, but I couldn't imagine trying to polish an old shoe for fifty years.  Neither can many of my married friends, apparently; only a couple of them have made it last past eighteen months (a damn shame, just to be clear).

Being single is salvation (for me).  Keeps me sharp, keeps me in shape and keeps me forever in search of that thing that never fails to capture my attention: C.R.E.A.M.


  1. Wow, you really know how to be brutally honest...I'm truly at a loss for words on this one...


  2. But, didn't you say in an earlier post - - that basically men want women only to speak when asked? No wonder you get bored...