Do you believe there's such a thing as a soulmate?

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

So, When You Say "Casual"...

"What's she reading that for?  I've got the business right here."

Like the word "no," it means different things to men and women.  As I've heard it from some of my more "progressive" female friends:

"I gave him his space, told him I didn't want to be his girlfriend.  I'm trying to be independent too!  This is just friends with benefits, I get that and I thought he did, but he still flakes on me when I say we should hang out at my place and watch a DVD while we eat something I made-- with sex after, of course.  I don't get it.  Give a man what he wants and he still acts like an ass."

Except you didn't give him exactly what he wanted.

Casual men are prehistoric throwbacks, males more in touch with the original sexual ethos than the daddy day camp set.  They want to be able to fall up in any piece of ass and then, like an unrestricted free agent, slide off to another team-- casually.

Women are casual in a different way.  For the woman who finds a guy who's cute, funny, intelligent, relaxed, and great in bed, what's the point of looking elsewhere?  The risk of STDs, pregnancy by some random dick or an encounter with a full-on rapist makes sleeping around seem stupid to her if she's got all the ingredients of an awesome "kick-it buddy" sitting right next to her.

That behavior, however, is interpreted by a man as an attempt to plant your flag, which is anathema to why he chose perpetual bachelorhood in the first place.  That guy you think is a great casual "friend" might be thinking just as casually about a whole host of other women.  For him, casual means getting what he wants without having to commit anything to anyone... not even his booty pal.

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