Your Man's Not Gay, Just "Moist"

God love 'em-- gays have a funny term for everything.

"Moist," as it's been explained to me, is a term denoting a man who is definitely not gay but who displays tendencies on a regular basis.  How it originated is a question I didn't care to ask.

Anyway, I'm sure some of you have been accused of having a boyfriend or husband who was an undercover turd burglar, especially in the Black community where the DL (down low) "epidemic"-- while problematic-- has escalated to Red Scare hysteria.

STOP!!!

If your man loves fashion-- like LAPD loves resisting arrest-- it doesn't mean he's gay.  He's a clotheshorse just like you, but in a different way.  In fact, up until recently (and still in some parts of the world) men dressed better than women.  They had to.  Men were the ones who went out all day to work and do business-- as opposed to women who mostly worked in and around the home-- and also had to do a lot more courting that what goes on today.  So like our animal counterparts we had to be more vibrant and well put-together than the mates we sought (look at peacocks and peahens).  Only in the West did men's fashion get busted down to earth-toned shirts, basic jeans and a few pairs of shoes-- thanks, James Dean!

"Okay, but my man talks like he's got a bit of the woman in him.  What's up with that?"

I don't want to go out on a limb but I believe it's do to the growing influence on boys by the women in their families, especially in the absence of men (not just the father per se).  This is especially true in Black and Hispanic family systems where women-- often the de facto heads of household-- display dominant and aggressive traits not unlike the female hyena.  Tether a young boy to his aunts for a week or so and he may return snapping his fingers and saying "Girl..." with ten R's.

What else, you say?

Liking the movie Dreamgirls doesn't make him gay; owning the special edition Blu-ray does.

Spending more time in the mirror than you doesn't denote homosexuality, unless the man he's in love with is himself.

It shouldn't bother you that he enjoys shopping excursions with his mother (unless their bags are both from Ann Taylor).

And if he suggests going in through the out hole, well... that's actually a whole other post.