Do you believe there's such a thing as a soulmate?

Saturday, April 17, 2010

First Date or Game Show?

"'Awkward silence' for two hundred, Alex."

We've all been there-- men, I mean.

You're sitting across from a gorgeous or at least decent-looking woman having dinner at Benihana (or Applebee's if you don't even have enough to fake it), but you might as well be sitting across from Trebek!  All these silly-ass questions-- and you know that how you answer will determine whether you "win" or attempt to write this off on your taxes (under "'Bitch, are you real?' expenses").

Then there's the awkward silence-- which is always on you-- but there's no commercial break coming to save you.  You feel you're being judged for your quietness, but you're busy savoring a steak that may be the highlight of the evening.  You'd give up even the possibility of sex on the first date if you could just let a fart rip from your nervous guts.

All this whining, you say?  Why can't a man just pay for dinner like a gentleman, answer questions like an academic and return you home like a Boy Scout?  And then call like he said he would?!!!

Because a date is not a game show... or an interview or an exercise or an aptitude test.  You may own all the prizes but you don't get to own all the fun-- not on a date.  Truth be told, we'd rather skip to the "lightning round"; game shows aren't really all that fun until the curtain is pulled back and the bounty revealed.

Dates don't have to be game shows.  You can just keep the chatter to a minimum and enjoy whatever activity we choose (since we'll be paying)-- whether that's learning to roll sushi with other couples or buying a five-dollar DVD at Walmart to watch at home-- and let the evening occur naturally.

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