Do you believe there's such a thing as a soulmate?

Friday, April 16, 2010

A Time to Kill: Cockblocking

Truer words have never been spoken.
"Yes, they deserved to die, and I hope they burn in HELL!!!" -- Samuel L. Jackson in the dramatic film, A Time to Kill

Trust, it's hard enough trying to pull a cuckoo move on one of your SATC girlfriends in the club without having to suffer your side-eyeing, your huffing and puffing, your snide remarks... your weak bladder ("Girl, come with me to the restroom.  No, right now!")  Watching you all run to the loo with your hands joined like kindergarteners on the way to the cafeteria makes us wonder why we don't just propose to a fleshlight.

Women go to clubs or bars for various reasons, the most annoying of which (to men) is, "I'm just hanging out with my girls tonight."  You see, men go out specifically to pull strange ass.  Some of us treat it like the quest for fire; if we don't fall balls deep into something by a quarter past 2 a.m. then the world might end-- immediately!


If you're the ugly chick (grenade) or the fat chick (grenade launcher) in the clique-- or if you've got a grudge against men because so many have used you like a moist towelette-- then your reasons for cockblocking are as lame as you are; kill yourself.

Your girl got extra shitfaced tonight for a reason, and who are we-- any of us-- to question her motives?  Wouldn't you be happier spending time with friends who were getting at least some average dick on the regular?  Life's too short to spend it lying on train tracks.  Your friend is going to get her panties peeled by someone.  Better one of us than your man.

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